When I left that day in February 2012 you left with me when I walked out that door. We have a child together and after I left you never once told me you loved me or missed me and you thought I hurt you? No, sir you have hurt me more than anyone in my life has ever hurt me and I still continue to let it happen Why? who knows. I’m a idiot.. I thought we would work it out, no. Now, whenever I talk to you, you constantly cut me down and get so defensive well you’re not only hurting me but Haylie. I think about being a family every day and I know that, that is no longer an option. I am so hurt and honestly feel like ending it all sometimes. I am so tired of fighting and cutting one another down and I don’t understand why we can’t just get along. It hurts so bad to see you and I wish I didn’t have to anymore. I wish that this was as easy for me as it is for you. I wish I could feel what you feel, which is absolutely nothing. I know people keep telling me that it’s going to get better with time and that eventually I’ll find someone who will treat me that way that I should be treated but honestly I don’t think I could bare going through another relationship and having it end. I know that you’re going to end up moving on very soon and whenever that day comes my heart will once again shattered in two and never be whole again. Why I still care? Only God knows. Why I still love you? Only God knows. If I could drop everything that I ever had with you, trust me I would. I pray every night for something to give. My Dad told me that no matter how nice to people like you that it will never be good enough. Like, you can’t be 100% happy because you go to an empty house everyday which I really don’t think that bothers you come to think about it, because you were by yourself for so long before me I don’t think it does. I used to tell myself that you actually did care but in all honestly I was believing something that compared to a fairy-tale. I will be in this battle with you for the next four years of Haylie’s life and I am dreading it all the way. Honestly, you did what was best for Haylie because our relationship was far from normal and I don’t even know why I’m writing all of this…
I give up, on you.
I give up, I give up, I am done.
wish I could .. nevermind.